←Back to Hank's Two Cents Worth
END OF A SPECIES
A frigid and impotent gynandromorphic.
What could be more tasty than a delicious
demi jambon des lafleu cov ham toupie stylw,half bnlse
Damn! I shaved myself while I was cutting!
VELCRO AND OLDER MEN
Keeps your wrist stiff,
Keeps your back straight,
Keeps your head... High!
Velcro! Velcro! Velcro!
You seem to be limping Lautrec.
Are your shoes too loose?
PARADOXES, OXYMORONS AND OTHER PLEONASMS...
I define a paradox as a self-contradictory expression, such as...
- Civil war is not very civil!
- Is a duel really a singular combat?
- Is the opposite of an immediate circle of friends a mediate circle of the same?
An oxymoron, on the other hand, is a paradox expessed in a lapidary fashion, such as...
- He was an excessively reasonnable man.
- An eloquent silence followed these words...
- Our political objectives will be attained through a slow acceleration.
- The accountant was dreaming of a calculated orgasm!
- He just loved rap music.
And finally, a pleonasm is a tautological repetition, if I may say so myself...
- The other morning, I was in a state of total relaxation. Lying down on the living-room rug, I was liatening to Ms. Yoga's calm and soothing voice on community TV... "Now, slooowllyy strrrretch your right arm...Slooooowlllyyy, veeeery sloooowlllyy, bring it up to youuuuur face... Noooow, geeently, veeeery geeently, press youuuuur index finger on... the... nostril... of... yooour.. nose!... ... ..." WOUAFF! WOUAFF! WOUAFF! I couldn't believe my ears! So much for relaxation! I was totally ROFLING!